Despite being non-verbal and having autism, Isabelle does not lack words to express herself. It indicates that she tries to communicate her ideas through every medium available.
When Annabelle cries, she will grab my hands, indicating that she wants me to make the ‘wah, wah, wah’ motions from the song “The Wheels on the Bus.” Although this gesture seems straightforward and like a connection a child could understand, Annabelle uses it as a helpful tool.
My daughter expresses relief when I acknowledge her understanding of her words through this action, and I can feel it in her body. Even though Annabelle feels validated, it’s evident that she is still crying about what upset her at the time. Yes, my mother does see me. She notices my tears and knows something is not correct. You’ve heard me. I’m not by myself.
She expresses her sense of safety without using words.
Sometimes, Annabelle’s communication isn’t as straightforward as it could be; to decipher what my daughter is trying to say, I have to follow an intuitive ZING in my body.
Annabelle has been reaching up to take my glasses off my face when she isn’t upset, which has happened more often lately. She gives my eyes a fierce stare.
To me, her actions in these moments resemble her trying to scoop out the insides of her eyes to determine what’s going on there! Rather than dismissing Annabelle’s curiosity about eyeball poking as a risky form of exploration, I have opted to view her behavior with interest.
I draw on some of our family’s core values during this time. Every action is a kind of communication. Never stop asking “why.”
Assume proficiency. Similar to icebergs, feelings have several feelings beneath the surface.
I was still trying to figure out the complete meaning Annabelle was attempting to convey. Still, after spending many seconds observing her new behaviors, I suspected she had made the connection between the bodily component “eye” and the word “I.”
This leads us back to last week when Annabelle and Lily played together after the day. It was one of Lily’s frequent displays of sweetness and concern for her younger sister. These sisters have already had enough enchanted moments of love and connection to last a lifetime.
Their love is sincere and pure. Until the prodding of the eyes begins, however, this time, my mother’s intuition ZING activated as a result of my newly acquired knowledge of Annabelle’s relationship between “eye” and “I.”
“Annabelle, are you attempting to tell Lily you love her?”
“Llllliilyyyyy, llloooyyyyoouuuu.”
Her remarks were taken from the depths of her being. It was a poignant moment that mirrored Annabelle’s love and security emotions in her sister’s company.
Lily and I gasped in unison, our jaws hanging open as our heads snapped toward one another. I started crying right away.
Similar to this video we shot in 2020 when Lily would have been close to six years old and Annabelle would have been about three, JOY emanated from everyone.
Our family is filled with the same happiness each time Annabelle tells us something for the first time.
She demonstrates her need for an Oreo box straight off the grocery store shelf, even if it means yelling and sobbing as she grabs it.
Annabelle giggles excessively when she shows her happiness in a particular park by grinning and skipping.
As the doors closed for her morning at therapy, she fixed her concentrated gaze on my face as I waved her off.
We often take for granted how simple it is to communicate. We hope that our words will come readily to them and that they understand what we’re trying to express. For some, it’s more complicated.
A robust sense of safety and a well-functioning sensory system are essential. Emotional stability and a strong bond with dependable, kind individuals. Speaking out requires a significant amount of mental and physical work. Therefore, the message must be essential.
Similar to a little child’s adoration for her older sibling.
Kelly Rock contributed this article to Love What Matters. Her adventure may be followed on Instagram. Get our free weekly email, Living Better, which will help you live a more fulfilled life by providing evidence-based guidance, inspiring personal stories, and practical insights.
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“Good night, my love, babies.” She signed “I love you” for the first time, and he responded. Mom shares this heartwarming moment between her nonverbally autistic son and his brother.
He meets my gaze straight. I see everything he is still unable to express behind his glance. No combination of phrases could ever equal that magic again. The mother of an autistic nonverbal kid exclaims, “Our love will never need words.”
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